2 month update

There's your sign

Chances are you already know this about me, but just in case....

I am a weirdo magnet! 

If there is a weirdo some where, they will find me and they will want to tell me their whole life story. It's kinda like a wear a sign around my neck that says, "All weirdos please come here!". (I am such my mother's daughter.) It's not like I seek these people out either... Out of no where.. BAM! There they are.

Well, I was in Fred's this evening and like most outings, I was minding my own business and I made a new friend. First, he wanted to see the baby. Then, he reached for his cell phone and since this happens to me a lot I knew I was about to see some pictures. He showed me a picture of his new grandbaby and then like word vomit the story started....

He said a few cliche grandchildren quotes like, " If I knew grandkids were this fun, I would have had them first." He then went on to tell me the baby's birthday was July 13th, but he sure would have liked to find out about her before she was 1 month old and how her grandmother probably had something to do with that.

I mean seriously, who just tells people this?

I know he was just a very proud Papa but then he wanted to tell me all his " Papa tricks". Keep in mind I had a not very happy baby and was trying to get in and out with my infant tylenol. He didn't seem to mind. He told me how if I had problems with "her" not wanting to take a teething ring I should poke holes in Otter Pops and give that to "her".

First of all, Brandt was wearing a blue outfit and I had him in a blue sling. Doesn't that scream little boy?

So then, he wanted to tell me about making cupcakes in ice cream cones so it doesn't get as messy. Maybe he has been looking on Pinterest for his ideas... just saying! The next idea was to use Fruity Pebbles in Rice Krispy Treats instead of Rice Krispys, but to make sure to make 2 batches because the adults would eat them all first. AND then, he wanted to tell me how to put tube socks on Brandt's hands when he won't leave his gloves on  during the winter.

I'm pretty sure there were more, but some where around this time I was really getting ready to get my now screaming baby home. So I tried to part our ways, but not before he told me one more story.

He had to tell me about how he hadn't treated his cats to a special treat in a while, so tonight was treat night! He walked away with 7 cans of cat food stacked up.

He left me with saying, " I sure hope you don't forget any of these ideas!"

No worries sir.... no worries!

....There's your sign.

The what ifs

Fair warning: This post is about breast feeding, boobs, and nipples.

Breast feeding... not on my top 10 favorite things.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. It's horrible! I would rather birth 20 babies, non-medicated, in the back of a car than have to breast feed.

In 7 weeks, I have had 3 rounds of mastitis (so far) & a constant yeast infection on my breasts... It's been fun...

Everyone tells you...
"It's such a wonderful experience"
"I loved breast feeding"
"It's such a special bonding time with mommy and baby"

If you are someone who told me those things... then you #1 Are a crazy person and/or #2 you lied.

Now I know, "not everyone has this rough of a time" and "it's not suppose to be this bad," quotes from my lactation specialist after her 10th visit to my house. However, no one ever talks about the what ifs of breast feeding.

What if you have toe curling, shooting pains all over your body during feeding?
What if all of a sudden you wake up and you are light headed, running a fever, and have two bright, red rocks as boobs?

What if every time your baby latches on it feels like knives cutting you and then even after your baby is finished you still have that feeling?
What if you aren't able to hold your baby on your chest because it hurts too badly?
What if it hurts to sit up because you feel like your top half is going to rip off at any second?

If you have asked yourself any of these questions,  prepare yourself now! YOU may have mastitis and/or a yeast infection.


This is the story...

I was perfectly fine. I took a nap. Mimi and Mama were cooking supper. Brandt was sleeping. I woke up and BAM! I was freezing, running a fever, light headed, and ached all over. Long story short... I ended up in the emergency room. Diagnosed with mastitis, given antibiotics (antibiotic #1 augmentin) by Doctor #1 & Vicodin, and off we went.

And now you are thinking... the highly addictive, pain killer Vicodin? Oh yes! That is what this Doctor #1 gave me. It gets worse. He wrote the prescription for such a high dosage that the pharmacy did not even carry it. No worries, I didn't fill that prescription. I just stuck with good ol' Tylenol. I did fill antibiotic #1 though.

Days went by, pumping, pumping, and more pumping with barely a drop coming out. I was left with knots all over my breast, and still in a whollllle lot of pain.

I was referred to a lactation specialist by a friend. This same friend also recommended having the lactation specialist at my house the first week I was home, wish I would've listened! (TO NEW MOMS READING: DO THIS!!) The lactation specialist came out to our house and has been so wonderful to us.

Apparently, my body was trying to feed all the starving children in Africa. I had WAY lots of milk. So, because I had too much milk, I wasn't able to completely drain the milk at each feeding. This led to mastitis. The antibiotics I was given, by a doctor who obviously knew NOTHING about mastitis, gave Brandt a yeast infection in his mouth-- thrush. Oh and those antibiotics prescribed by Doctor #1 "are not the typical treatment used for mastitis" according to Doctor #2. So, Doctor #2 gave me a new prescription for  antibiotic #2, dicloxacillin .

Brandt during this time was being treated with some meds that had to be given 4 times a day 1 1/2 hours before feeding.....so easy! NOT! And you couldn't put the dropper back into the medicine bottle after being used because it could spread the infection so it had to be boiled after every feeding.

After coming home from seeing Doctor #2, the lactation specialist came for a visit. It took her about 2.5 seconds to see I have a very bad yeast infection on my "feeding areas." Funny how Doctor #2 didn't see this when I saw her just 30 minutes prior. Maybe it developed on the ride home from the doctor, buuut.... I'm thinking not.

I decided to give the new meds a few days. So I took antibiotic #2 but was still in pain & getting worse every feeding, but the mastitis symptoms were easing up and now it was mainly yeast infection symptoms. Things were going no better in the feeding my starving baby department.

I made another doctor appointment with Doctor #3. Doctor #3 gave me a prescription for antibiotic #3 for 3 days, a cream, and gentian violet for me on my breasts and Brandt for his mouth.

Now, if you have never seen this gentian violet treatment...

This was taken 4 hours after it was given to Brandt. Let's just say I was embarrassed to go in public for several days.

I know you are now thinking, how did antibiotic #3 work?

....About as well as 1 & 2.

So went back to Doctor #3. He said, "There was nothing else he could do for me." "Use formula." "Quit breast feeding." " I wouldn't be able to continue without more infection." Ha! Yeah right!

But he called in Doctor #4 for a second opinion.


After Doctor #3 left the room the conversation went something like this:
Doctor  #4: You aren't going to listen to him are you, Aubree?
Me: No way! I didn't just endure 6 weeks to not even be able to feed my child.
Doctor #4: Well, here is something that may help.

And she handed over the prescription to antibiotic #4, which was the same medicine as #3 but for 2 weeks instead of 3 days.

After 4 days of antibiotic #4, the yeast seems to be clearing up. I won't go as far to say that I'm pain free but I'm not in tears at every feeding now.

This week, I had my postpartum check up and saw Doctor #5. She noticed the mastitis was back. Today, it back and in full force.

I'm not willing to go on another antibiotic because then the yeast- thrush cycle will just start again. So, the lactation specialist gave me advice to help with the mastitis without meds.

At this point in this post I am sure you are asking yourself why would I not just stop breast feeding? I have definitely asked myself this numerous times during this whole process. I did try to stop, for one day, and that resulted in round 2 of mastitis. But more importantly I want to be able to breastfeed. I want to be one of those crazy people who remember loving to breast feed. When I don't nurse Brandt, he begs for it. He rubs his face on my chest and cries. I feel guilty giving my 7 week old food that is so processed when I can feed him something so natural. Plus it stinks and gives Brandt terrible stomach aches/ poop.

So, we will continue with this, with the help of the God-sent lactation specialist, who I think may be the solver of all problems, by my side. All I have to say is, Brandt better not grow teeth till he is 16 because once we FINALLY get this, were gonna be doing it long enough to make it worth it!

I wish I could give you the ending to this story, but the ending is not here yet. However, I'm hoping the ending will be soon and when I see a light at the end of the tunnel, or even just a glimpse.... we will celebrate and I will blog about it :)

Where were you?

September 11th, 2001 I was in 8th grade in Mrs. Stanford's english class. Coach V, another 8th grade teacher, ran into the room and announced, "the world trade center has been attacked my terrorists". At the time, I had no idea what a terrorists was or what the trade centers were or where it located. That day, we weren't allowed to watch the news at school because it was "too scary for our young eyes". Lives were being changed and experience what sacrifice meant. My completely oblivious definition of sacrifice was not spending the night with friends one weekend because I had too much homework.

September 11th, 2001, Barry was  living a "big boy" life already. He was in the Army and in the Ranger Regiment at Fort Benning, Georgia. He was in the field for a training exercise. (Or at least that is what I think he has told me before when we had this conversation, so I hope I'm not telling a fib.) Within a few weeks, he was packed up and headed out for the initial invasion into Afghanistan. He knew what sacrifice meant.

I was still a little kid still in middle school and he was doing "big boy" things.

Today, September 11th, 2011 I now understand the true meaning of sacrifice. It is what our family has experienced everyday for the past 5 months and will continue to experience for the next 12 years, along with all the other families who have a family member in the service. It is what our little boy experiences everyday when he says good morning and good night to his Daddy via skype. It is what my husband experiences each night when he goes to bed in a tent while Brandt and I are snuggled up in our safe home. It will be what we experience on Christmas morning when Brandt and I are together for our first Christmas and our Daddy is watching us on the computer. It is what our marriage experiences everyday when your love is halfway around the world.

Tonight I will go to bed and will be thanking God for the the life we live everyday because of the people who know and understand sacrifice. Thankful to be an American and thankful for our freedom.

I am now

I am now the person who's life has been changed forever.

I am now the person who cannot believe they are really a parent.

I am now the person who's whole life revolves around an 11 pound 11 ounce little boy.

I am now the person who walks around Wal-Mart just to get out of the house... oh wait... I've always been that person! 

I am now the person who stays in Barnes & Noble for an hour and half just so my baby can get a good nap.

I am now the person who avoids eye contact with people who have children with them in the grocery store, so they don't want to see "the baby" because they probably have germs. 

I am now the person who changes diapers in the backseat of my car... in the rain.

I am now the person who nurses their baby in the car, on the side of the road, even though the house is just 2 minutes away.

I am now the person who tip-toes across the kitchen so I don't wake the baby.

I am now the person who tears up looking at my baby, because I think he is the most precious child I've ever seen.

I am now the person that is thinking mean things about the telemarketer that calls during nap time.

I am now the person who loves their husband even more now that he is a daddy.

I am now the person who secretly is thinking please don't touch my baby with your probably un-washed hands. 

I am now the person who drives with one hand on the steering wheel and one in the backseat holding a pacie in a baby's mouth.

I am now the person who wipes spit up on my jeans... and goes in public in them.

I am now the person who talks on the phone about how many poopy diapers my baby has had today. 

I am now the person who leaves their buggy beside their car because I don't want to leave my baby in the car for even 2 seconds alone. 

I am now the person who cannot remember who I was before I had a child of my own. 

I am now the person who knows being a mother is what I was meant to be. 

Lessons learned

So I thought I had this fantastic idea this morning to go to the commissary first thing  so I could beat the crowd. Brandt and I had it timed perfectly for our first solo shopping trip.  Right after Brandt ate we would leave. I packed a carrier for to carry him in so I could have both hands for buggy pushing. I knew we would be in & out since we were going so early. Well little did I know all the other stay at home mom had the same fantastic idea...

#1 Lesson learned of being a stay at home mom, pick a new time to go to the commissary.

We had to wait in a very long line but luckily, my baby wasn't like the other children running around screaming....