The what ifs

Fair warning: This post is about breast feeding, boobs, and nipples.

Breast feeding... not on my top 10 favorite things.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. It's horrible! I would rather birth 20 babies, non-medicated, in the back of a car than have to breast feed.

In 7 weeks, I have had 3 rounds of mastitis (so far) & a constant yeast infection on my breasts... It's been fun...

Everyone tells you...
"It's such a wonderful experience"
"I loved breast feeding"
"It's such a special bonding time with mommy and baby"

If you are someone who told me those things... then you #1 Are a crazy person and/or #2 you lied.

Now I know, "not everyone has this rough of a time" and "it's not suppose to be this bad," quotes from my lactation specialist after her 10th visit to my house. However, no one ever talks about the what ifs of breast feeding.

What if you have toe curling, shooting pains all over your body during feeding?
What if all of a sudden you wake up and you are light headed, running a fever, and have two bright, red rocks as boobs?

What if every time your baby latches on it feels like knives cutting you and then even after your baby is finished you still have that feeling?
What if you aren't able to hold your baby on your chest because it hurts too badly?
What if it hurts to sit up because you feel like your top half is going to rip off at any second?

If you have asked yourself any of these questions,  prepare yourself now! YOU may have mastitis and/or a yeast infection.


This is the story...

I was perfectly fine. I took a nap. Mimi and Mama were cooking supper. Brandt was sleeping. I woke up and BAM! I was freezing, running a fever, light headed, and ached all over. Long story short... I ended up in the emergency room. Diagnosed with mastitis, given antibiotics (antibiotic #1 augmentin) by Doctor #1 & Vicodin, and off we went.

And now you are thinking... the highly addictive, pain killer Vicodin? Oh yes! That is what this Doctor #1 gave me. It gets worse. He wrote the prescription for such a high dosage that the pharmacy did not even carry it. No worries, I didn't fill that prescription. I just stuck with good ol' Tylenol. I did fill antibiotic #1 though.

Days went by, pumping, pumping, and more pumping with barely a drop coming out. I was left with knots all over my breast, and still in a whollllle lot of pain.

I was referred to a lactation specialist by a friend. This same friend also recommended having the lactation specialist at my house the first week I was home, wish I would've listened! (TO NEW MOMS READING: DO THIS!!) The lactation specialist came out to our house and has been so wonderful to us.

Apparently, my body was trying to feed all the starving children in Africa. I had WAY lots of milk. So, because I had too much milk, I wasn't able to completely drain the milk at each feeding. This led to mastitis. The antibiotics I was given, by a doctor who obviously knew NOTHING about mastitis, gave Brandt a yeast infection in his mouth-- thrush. Oh and those antibiotics prescribed by Doctor #1 "are not the typical treatment used for mastitis" according to Doctor #2. So, Doctor #2 gave me a new prescription for  antibiotic #2, dicloxacillin .

Brandt during this time was being treated with some meds that had to be given 4 times a day 1 1/2 hours before feeding.....so easy! NOT! And you couldn't put the dropper back into the medicine bottle after being used because it could spread the infection so it had to be boiled after every feeding.

After coming home from seeing Doctor #2, the lactation specialist came for a visit. It took her about 2.5 seconds to see I have a very bad yeast infection on my "feeding areas." Funny how Doctor #2 didn't see this when I saw her just 30 minutes prior. Maybe it developed on the ride home from the doctor, buuut.... I'm thinking not.

I decided to give the new meds a few days. So I took antibiotic #2 but was still in pain & getting worse every feeding, but the mastitis symptoms were easing up and now it was mainly yeast infection symptoms. Things were going no better in the feeding my starving baby department.

I made another doctor appointment with Doctor #3. Doctor #3 gave me a prescription for antibiotic #3 for 3 days, a cream, and gentian violet for me on my breasts and Brandt for his mouth.

Now, if you have never seen this gentian violet treatment...

This was taken 4 hours after it was given to Brandt. Let's just say I was embarrassed to go in public for several days.

I know you are now thinking, how did antibiotic #3 work?

....About as well as 1 & 2.

So went back to Doctor #3. He said, "There was nothing else he could do for me." "Use formula." "Quit breast feeding." " I wouldn't be able to continue without more infection." Ha! Yeah right!

But he called in Doctor #4 for a second opinion.


After Doctor #3 left the room the conversation went something like this:
Doctor  #4: You aren't going to listen to him are you, Aubree?
Me: No way! I didn't just endure 6 weeks to not even be able to feed my child.
Doctor #4: Well, here is something that may help.

And she handed over the prescription to antibiotic #4, which was the same medicine as #3 but for 2 weeks instead of 3 days.

After 4 days of antibiotic #4, the yeast seems to be clearing up. I won't go as far to say that I'm pain free but I'm not in tears at every feeding now.

This week, I had my postpartum check up and saw Doctor #5. She noticed the mastitis was back. Today, it back and in full force.

I'm not willing to go on another antibiotic because then the yeast- thrush cycle will just start again. So, the lactation specialist gave me advice to help with the mastitis without meds.

At this point in this post I am sure you are asking yourself why would I not just stop breast feeding? I have definitely asked myself this numerous times during this whole process. I did try to stop, for one day, and that resulted in round 2 of mastitis. But more importantly I want to be able to breastfeed. I want to be one of those crazy people who remember loving to breast feed. When I don't nurse Brandt, he begs for it. He rubs his face on my chest and cries. I feel guilty giving my 7 week old food that is so processed when I can feed him something so natural. Plus it stinks and gives Brandt terrible stomach aches/ poop.

So, we will continue with this, with the help of the God-sent lactation specialist, who I think may be the solver of all problems, by my side. All I have to say is, Brandt better not grow teeth till he is 16 because once we FINALLY get this, were gonna be doing it long enough to make it worth it!

I wish I could give you the ending to this story, but the ending is not here yet. However, I'm hoping the ending will be soon and when I see a light at the end of the tunnel, or even just a glimpse.... we will celebrate and I will blog about it :)